Tuesday

Today the boys & I got a break from each other while they were at Melina's house. Melina is the world's best babysitter, if you didn't know that. She is always so willing to watch them at short notice and they have so much fun when they are with her. I am grateful that I found Melina!

I visited with Michelle for a while after I dropped off the boys. I took her some candy in a shameless attempt to get her to eat something. ;o) She is getting much too thin so I thought I would try to get her appetite going with the lure of Junior Mints and Sour Patch Kids.

I recently read the memoir "Autobiography of a Face" by Lucy Grealy. Lucy had a large portion of her jaw removed at age nine, secondary to a rare form of cancer. The story discusses her life growing up with a severe facial deformity. As you can imagine, the book is terribly sad, even though the author uses humor to describe some events.

In addition to that book, I have been reading things on the web regarding grief, death, and that sort of thing. I am trying to deal with Michelle's diagnosis and want to see things from my point of view, but also from Michelle's point of view.

So, with the book and death/grief information very fresh in my mind, I have just been appreciating the heck out of my two little boys! It does go through my mind that I need to express my love for them with words, hugs, & kisses not only because it makes me feel good, but what if I were to suddenly die? Would they remember me? If so, I wish for them to remember that I love them. Morbid thoughts, I know, but as we all learn at some time or another, life is incredibly ruthless. I would hate to be in Michelle's shoes and am hoping to learn something from her experience. If knowing Michelle, and being near her during her life & death, makes me a better person, I think maybe that would be a good way to honor her.

But...I'm rambling. I'm thinking too much (not necessarily bad stuff, just stuff-stuff) and the diagnosis of terminal cancer in my oldest friend is something that definitely needs to be thought about.

On to lighter subjects. I actually got the boys to semi-cooperate with pics tonight. I like to take pictures of them with my phone camera so I can send them to Mike while he's away from us. So here are the images I was able to capture. Grainy & overexposed, but you get the idea! ;o)

Sullivan is just talking up a storm lately. He is saying full sentences and I am able to understand a great deal of what he says. He gets so excited when he realizes that I've understood a new question or statement from him, and I think that encourages him to say even more words. He is just being the sweetest, cuddliest baby boy in the world the past couple of days. He has given me uncountable kisses and just wants me to hold him while he rests his head on my shoulder. I am, of course, more than willing to comply with his request.

Keaton has been saying lots of funny things lately...but if I don't write them down right away I tend to forget them. Two things I remember are from today: this morning he curled himself up into a ball and started yelling to me and Sullivan, "Hey guys, come eat me. I'm a meatball!" Then tonight after his bath he asked me what he was "on" when he was inside my "tummy". I told him he was just floating in some fluid that kept him warm and safe and he asked, "But was I sitting on a chair while I was in your tummy?" ;o)